Serpent Theology, Gen. 3; Tim Knipp

Am I loved?
Is there a Creator
and if so, 
what is He like?
Is He a dictator
who denies His creations
more than He grants?
Or a benevolent
provider,
generous and wise?
Is He impersonal 
and distant,
withholding pleasure
at whim?
Or deeply concerned
and impeccably
good?
 
Caught between 
extreme perspectives,
I try to straddle both,
accepting half-truths
and half- lies,
swallowing serpent theology
like a necessary
vitamin
that chokes my faith.
The attack 
on God's character
is subtle and smooth,
keying into my deepest fears
and the 
underlying terror of
being wrong 
about His goodness.
So I bite,
and for a nano-second
am pleasure-sated,
but after,
after...
in the oh, so long afterwards
I taste the bile
of deception
and then I see:
- how capable I am of treachery,
- how poison now floods my veins,
- how stupidly I fell
      for the serpent's lie
               again.
Oh, how I need 
redemption!